Farewell Southern Oaks (an ode to apartment living)

Ahhh! I made you look at my blog! You probably clicked on it because you thought it was about a baby or something. Sorry I fooled you.  It's actually just as interesting though, because it's about our apartment.
We close on our house next week so I thought I would write an official goodbye prose to the good times we've had at our temporary, spider-filled housing.

Farewell pretty blue pool,
Your water sparkled in the sun.
reading on your deck was  cool
until Honey Boo-Boo did cannonballs of fun.

Then it was just cold. and wet.
(One Honey Boo-Boo always refused to take off her sandals before getting in as she was afraid without them, her feet would get too cold in the water)

Farewell creepy neighbor with yellow toenails,
your pacing outside and continuous cigarette,
How you can mumble and smoke at the same time
is a feat I have yet to get.

(Everyone I sent his fuzzy picture taken through my hair to in case I was murdered, can delete it next Friday. I survived!)

Goodbye sweet apartment so nice and cozy,
it was fun for us to be so close. 
The only time you seemed too small,
is when the spider family took over, named rabida lycose.

(You can't be the size of a quarter and called a lycosa rabida WITHOUT having me think your are poisonous and squashing you into a piece of tar with my shoe)

And to our upstairs neighbor, 
At 5 AM, no one should shout "oh lordy"
we are glad you found your soulmate
but your bed needs some WD40.

(5 am!?!?!? 5 am!?!?!? Either someone works night shift or these are teenagers who are NOT within the age requirement for renting).


Farewell cool couple in 8013
you had the deck'o' fun.
Dartboards, posters and ski ball
a basement size cooler, 4 beer taps in one.

I walked by longingly everyday,
my condition didn't allow me to partake.
Then once I saw you outside, 
no teeth no bra and leather skin that had baked.

(I no longer felt bad and it made me rethink the ramifications of a deck'o'fun.)


And farewell front desk LaTonya,
you had such amazing concentration.
I could stand in your personal space for whole 8 minutes, 
before you'd look up and say "what" with no elation.

(To get her attention I actually tried to compress my throat and breathe heavy with my mouth gaping wide open....I suppose that makes me as creepy as toenail guy.)

And let's not quit there LaTonya....

It totally makes sense
 you were too busy
to write a receipt 
for my relo company

I sometimes don't have time to open my eyes 
when I want to see
to take the wrapper off my straw 
or wipe when I pee.

(Yes, that is how long it would've taken you).

When I proof read this I had to laugh at the things we talk about that we would've never noticed last time we lived in apartments when we would've come home at 3am to take beers to creepy tonails, before heading to the after party on the deck'o'fun and topping off the night by high fiving the upstairs couple on their 5am job well done were younger.

minnesota and moonshiners

Sorry about the delay in blog posts.  I had the best intentions, but when I became head of the household for a few months while John was looking for a new job, I took my duties far too seriously and had no time for posts.  The power got to me and it went something like this:

Grocery Shopping
Me: John, grab that cheese and put it in the cart please.
John: Rose, it's the exact same cheese as this one only your paying a dollar more for the dancing cow on the wrapper.
Me: GRAB IT....(as I stare at dancing cow in her checkered dress) It's been a good week, Betsy, a good week.


It was bound to end and now that we have switched roles, John told me to take a few weeks off, just relax and enjoy myself....no need to find a job right now.  Well that lasted 2 days and I FOUND a job* (*job does not always equal pay).

Actually first, I found this great park in Raleigh, which is the largest nature preserve in a US metropolitan city. It has miles and miles of hiking trails through beautiful terrain.  As I was coming up the hill, ending my first 3 mile hike, I saw it in the parking lot.  A car with a MINNESOTA TWINS sticker across the front windshield and a Minnesota local car dealership sticker on the back.  I waited and hopped around with excitement for a minute to see if whoever owned this car would appear and we could relive our days from freezing weather to Sweet Martha's Minnesota cookies.  No luck.

I took a picture and sent it to John who proceeded to ignore my picture as his phone screen sucks, he didn't know what it was and figured I would call him if it were something important like I hit this persons vehicle.

The next day, to my surprise  the car was there again!  I parked two stalls over (not to be rude...Minnesota nice also means Minnesota-nice-but-I-need-some-space) and figured that they would leave a note on my car since twice meant this was no chance meeting.

No note was left.  Hmmmm, they ARE from Minnesota; only a Minnesotan would think, "Oh I should leave a note to say hello!.....but I don't want to bother them, or hurt their windshield wiper while placing my note on their glass..."

The next day I parked in the stall next to them.  Still nothing.  The next day I parked in the stall next to them on the DRIVER'S side.  Hard to ignore me now.  The next day closer on the driver's side to where our mirrors looked like they were reaching out for each other, to hold hands.  Still nothing.....not even a friendly dent as they had to squeeze into their driver's side door (skinny, health conscious Minnesotan).

I told John about my disappointment that night (leaving out how close our cars were parked together....he wouldn't have found this helpful). I had failed at my new job of meeting this person. I showed him the pictures from each day that I took with the car of my mysterious friend.

John: Rose, you like your Minnesota friends, so don't you want to make North Carolina friends?

Rose: Well yes, but I was just SO excited to see who else was down here. Who would want to talk about how great the weather is and if they are going back for the fair, and end every question with "ooooh yaaaaa?"

John: I don't think stalking someone and taking pictures with their car every day is going to make you a friend, it's creepy.  In fact,you could end up in jail and those aren't the friends you want to make.

Rose: John, you obviously haven't watched Moonshiners.  Those are the people who end up in the holding cells at the NC pokey.  All from making the delicious sweet sippin' mountain nectar. Maybe those ARE the people I want to know.

So even if my job was a bust, and I get sent to the pokey for stalkerazzi photos, I will be in good company with some sweet drinks while I serve my time.